Extrovert? 3 Ways to Learn How To Shut Up

Extrovert? 3 Ways to Learn How to Shut Up

Use Common Sense: Not everyone wants to talk to strangers (or even certain people they may know)! Some people may have other things on their minds. Maybe someone just had dental surgery and cannot speak. Learn to know and identify social cues.

Worry About Yourself: It is wise to mind your business and focus on yourself. A lot of issues can let go within one’s personal life if their energy is toward self, rather than outwardly toward others, especially in areas that said person has no business putting their energy (ex: another’s marital life, children that you aren’t the parents of, someone’s new job, another person’s health predicament, etc.).

It Ain’t All About You: Most of what humans do are projections. Extroverts get energized by the energy of others. In other words, extroverts need other people’s energy and attention as a form of thriving. The key is to look inward, learn what other aspects of life, besides other people, can give motivation and energy to thrive and survive.

Guess what – some people don’t want to give their energy and attention to certain people and, that’s ok. 

Extroverts should be aware that it isn’t always about them – and to be mindful of other people’s energy or lack thereof.

Remember: As respectful humans, it is appropriate to ask people for their time if they are willing to engage in meaningless small talk or something else that takes their attention away from their daily life.

Assertiveness is a Form of Nourishment

I posted a little snippet about Assertiveness a couple of days ago, but here is more elaboration on the topic.

According to the American Psychological Association dictionary, “assertiveness is described as an adaptive style of communication in individuals expressing their feelings and needs directly while maintaining respect for others.”

From my experience, assertiveness is sometimes confused with aggression, but it is the opposite. The act of being aggressive can come from anger while assertiveness comes from inner strength.

A person will need assertiveness in all aspects of life, especially concerning people who lack boundaries.

To stop those who feel that their boundaries are not respected must learn assertiveness.

Now we are not victim-blaming: those over the age of childhood/adolescence as adults need to take full responsibility for their livelihood.

How can one learn to be assertive?

A few tips are:

Learning how to say “No”, learning Self-Defense and learning how to set boundaries.

When someone continues to cross your boundaries in a way that can physically and mentally harm it shows their lack of care. 

Learning how to be assertive can establish self-worth and care for oneself!

Like anything, it will take practice, but you can do it.

-Heather Em


APA Dictionary of Psychology (Internet). American Psychological Association. American Psychological Association; 2020 (cited 2021Oct18). Available from: https://dictionary.apa.org/assertiveness